I Didn't Ask For This

Ooh wee, I have been gone far too long. So I decided to post and just vent! lol

This past Monday was Epilepsy Awarness and my friends and I all changed our profile pics on FB and wore purple to show support. Now I am all about showing support for Epilepsy, ever since I was diagnosed in 2008. At times it can be rough, but I am still the same Amie I was before I was diagnosed.

Now the reason I am bloggin about this is because being epileptic is not easy, and it can be trying on your loved ones. But those who truly love and care for you stand by your side no matter what. Now I have had seizures at the worst times and in places I hated having them. I have had them in Kroger, Chinese restaurant, school, during ZUMBA, at the park, and during church. Now everyone has always been so kind and helpful. They made sure I was okay and if I needed anything, they took care of it. Now here's the tricky part, yes I can tell when I am about to have a seizure. That is called an aura and that also a form of seizure. But hey, I can't just get up and move and go somewhere else and have it.   

I have had seizures in church 3 times, that they've witnessed. A couple of weeks ago I had another one, and I was carried out and don't get me wrong I am grateful, but there is a weird vibe I am getting from certain people now. I have seizures when I am rest broken or stressed. Sunday I had a horrible headache, but I was there. It was Women's day and I wasn't going to miss it for anything. I was sitting in the choir when someone asked if I was okay. I told them I was fine, just a slight headache. Next thing I know someone comes to me and tells me in my ear in a low voice and says, "Amie, if you're going to be sick, you might want to get up and leave." I looked at her and said "I'm fine, it's just a headache." Sooo...at this point I got a lil sidetracked and was mad! If I go in the hallway and have a grand mal seizure and no one is there, am I suppose to just lay there until I wake up?! If I go out in the hallway and have a seizure and hit my head and no one is there to help me, that's cool as long as it doesn't interrupt the service?! Oh yea, I was fiya hot! BUT I kept my cool, asked for an aspirin and kept on going. And little does she know I had one after the choir finished singing and the preacher was preaching! Just looked like I was bowing my head.

Let me tell you people something. Give you a lil edumacation! Epileptics didn't ask for this! We didn't ask to have seizures day and night. To have to take medications so much that the side effects are worse than the seizures, sometimes. And YES I know, I have plenty of epileptic friends. We didn't ask for the seizures to cause brain damage, to cause us to forget important things to us. We didn't ask for these seizures to scare our friends and family so that they constantly worry about us. Oooh, I am BLESSED! I know epileptics who can't even take care of themselves. Have to depend on others to feed and bathe them. But when people act as if my health is just a distraction, aw naw, I get mad!

I do not take this lightly. I have too many people that God has brought into my life because of that and I am grateful. People have gone, but more beautiful people have entered in! For this I am thankful. But I just want to say this, I hope this person doesn't get sick around me anytime soon. I am going to do everything I can to help. That's who I am. But when I look her in the eye, I know what she'll see.